How to Make a Decision

It's tough these days choosing to decide. This. That. Which?

I don't like making big decisions. They overwhelm me with their momentumness. Maybe I've just had to make too many big decisions in the past and I'm past quota. Maybe my bones are too set in their joints nowadays. How do you choose to do something, or stop doing something when you have no idea of the road ahead of either choice?

It's a cruelty of linear time. We move forward into the gathering darkness, our headlights forever on the blink. And hope is too often a flitter in the belly, thrilling even as it passes on.

They say the definition of insanity is doing the same thing over and over and expecting a different result.

Most of us must be insane. We're all doing it. Going to the same job, wearing the same perfume, smiling at the same silent boy, pushing the same clothes through the washing machine, all the while waiting for the different outcome.

We hear the stories. The ones about the joe-shmoe who kept on doing the same darn thing everyday until one day POW everything changed and now he's happy as a pig in poop. All that hard work paid off. Or the cautionary tale about the woman who gave up and the very next day her boat came in, but she wasn't on the pier to meet it. Poor slob.

Maybe I'm waiting for someone/thing to force me to decide. Push me through the door and I ride the tide of popular flow. Go with the flow. Whoosh. Let it all ride. Then there is the saying that goes something like, if you can't decide, then you've already decided not to decide. Something like that. It confuses me.

I wouldn't mind so much except it seems as if there's so much at stake. Not sure what exactly. I don't know what I'll have to give up or rearrange until I decide which way to go. But I'm sure there is lots at stake. There must be, right?

It's tough these days choosing to decide. This. That. Which?

I bid you good writing.